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Meltdowns

June 17, 2015 - Uncategorized

I’m not one to grumble or vent on social media particularly and I love to focus on the good bits. Today though, has not been the best day and I feel like I need to write it all down. One thing that, as a parent, you dread when your child is at school is the teacher coming out solemnly and saying “can we have a chat about (your child)”. We had this many times with E, when I’d go into his classroom and he was mid meltdown and throwing chairs about or when he managed to abscond from school during a p.e. lesson or was generally having a really bad day. Now, it’s not that he’s naughty (he is actually much better behaved generally than my girls) but he just doesn’t cope well with certain things. It was our main reason for choosing to home educate him.
Today was not a great day. It started out fine, got up and had breakfast as usual. I was expecting friends round, so while the children entertained themselves I did a quick tidy up. Fast forward to about half past ten and my friend hands me some biscuits that she bought from Corfu for us. The children stand nicely while I open the box and wait nicely for a biscuit, so far so good. Then, S takes the biscuit that E had his eye on (baring in mind that they were all the same) and he completely loses the plot. He thumps S and starts screaming and shouting. So I take him aside to try and reason with him, completely useless. So I take him to his room, on route he grabsĀ  everything he can reach and throws them, he kicks, he punches and screams. We get to his room where he has his safe space (a hidey hole under his bed) and I leave him to cool down as this normally works. Unfortunately we had to repeat the same process about 3 times before he started to come round and he could be reasoned with.

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Once our friends had left we had lunch and decided to head to Moors Valley to burn off some steam. Upon arrival we decide that we want to play in the park so head off only to arrive and it’s closed for maintenance. Cue another massive meltdown. This time because it meant an unexpected chance of plans.
We head to the forest instead to do the adventure trail but I have to essentially carry E the whole way while he kicks, screams and hits me. When I tried to let him walk he just ran away screaming and crying. So there’s me, 3 small girls and an almost 6 year old boy having his meltdown on the way to the forest. Little S didn’t want to miss out on the carry so kept asking to be picked up. So I carried her for a bit while trying to shepherd E in the right direction and then I’d swap and carry E and try to get the 2 year to go the right way. That walk felt like miles! We arrived at the first activity and the girls could then go off and play and I was able to let E run off his meltdown safely, making sure he didn’t go to far away. Eventually he calmed down, had a drink and we were all able to play and have a nice time. But my goodness, I am shattered. Lets hope tomorrow is a better day.

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2 thoughts on “Meltdowns

siovon

My goodness! What an exhausting day for you all, especially you and E. I like that you are so honest in your blogs, you don’t make home ed, or parenting for that matter, out to be plain sailing.
I think that you are an amazing parent, and I’m sure others would agree. You allow the children to explore their feelings and talk to them about those feelings. You open up to them all so many avenues of learning, in so many different ways. It would have been so much easier today to have just thrown in the towel and gone home, but you didn’t. You gave E the space to work out his emotions and get himself together. You also gave the other children the time to play and let out any frustrations they may have been feeling because of Es meltdown. At the end of their trip they would not only have burned off some energy, but learned to work with each others feelings, and knowing M.V. Learned and built on such skills through play such as balance, sharing, team building etc. I’m glad that with all of the drama and tears fun was eventually had by all.

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coolgang2015

I too have many days like this (more verbal now as opposed to physical) but still challenging. What matters is that our children will grow up feeling secure by our love and support. They use us as battering rams in every sense of the word (!) but we hold steady with our boundaries, love and guidance. Granted, it’s not easy and often I feel defeated and bleak about how I can find the strength to carry on but as parents, we somehow do face that next day endlessly.
E is in the best possible hands being with you as no-one can ever understand him as well as you. I learned that home schooling myself although it was only for a short time. All of your children are an absolute credit and what you don’t know is how I often talk about your amazing parenting. Pat yourself on the back as you’re doing a great job. I also like your honesty to share today as I sure relate to it too! x

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